Antipathy

Go down

Antipathy

Post  Celtic on Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:52 am

Weimar makes his return in this fantasy short

Feeling the ground shake slightly beneath his feet from the heavy march of Greenskins on the move, Weimar squinted through the early morning mist, trying to catch a glimpse of what was approaching. Only shadows, shapes and silhouettes could he see, not being able to make anything out clearly.
It had been five long months since he had saved the life of Lord Von Steyr, five months since he had earned a place among his new regiment. Reflecting upon the events that had occurred over those five months, Weimar grinned, as he could count himself among Ostland's elite. He had been initiated into the Death's Heralds, a relatively new Regiment of Greatswords founded only two years beforehand by Count Von Raukov. Among the already well-established Greatsword regiments of the empire's north, such as the Wolfenburg Twice-bolds, Death's Heralds was very young and small. Despite this, the regiment was still a matter of pride to Von Steyr, as all the members had proved their mettle in combat through superhuman feats of combat. His own story was held highly among them, the whole regiment knew of how a lowly Halberdier overcame a group of Druchii Executioners.

And, a matter of pride Weimar held for himself, he had kept the long sword he had taken from the dead elf he had found all those months before. He'd consulted the scholars in Wolfenburg to learn a little more about it. What he carried was one of the deadliest types of blades carried by mortals, what, in the Dark Elf tongue was known as a Draich, used by Executioners for ritual killings and battle use. Finely balanced and surprisingly light, yet very strong for a weapon of its' size, Weimar had learned how to use it with deadly skill. The scholars also found one last secret about it - the previous bearer had named the Draich, quite appropriately, Harbinger.

It was Harbinger that Weimar proudly hefted now as he listened to the Orcs steadily approaching, the noise of their heavy footfalls growing louder all the time. His morale was high, as he knew that the Orcs would have one hell of a tough time breaking the rock-hard line of which Weimar was a part.
The drummer began to beat his drum to sound the order for them to begin their march. The mud beneath Weimar's feet began to harden out as he marched forward, making it ever easier for him to keep up pace with the beat. As the mist also began to clear, he could see now the horde before him, and more specifically, what he was heading straight for. His heartbeat quickened as he noticed that about 200 yards ahead was a group of massive Orcs, wearing thick black armour, wielding what looked like large branches with huge nails sticking out of them, massive broad axes and large maces. He had heard tell of these monsters - the Black Orc Destroyers. They looked like just the kind of beast that Greatswords had been trained to deal with - the state troops would never be able to handle such monstrosities. Weimar only hoped that Harbinger was enough to be able to make a mockery of the Orcs' thick black armour.
Weimar instinctively quickened his pace as the drum beat ever faster. The Orcs wouldn't be able to hold off their battle lust for much longer. They were quite predictable, it had to be said. When the enemy were close enough they would always break ranks and charge. That would be the easy bit. Letting a grin spread across his face, Weimar hefted the Draich above his head as he closed with the Orcs, ready to make the sweeping blow he had been dying to put into practice. He hadn't had any proper combat since the battle against the elves five months ago, save for the regular patrols into Drakwald he had accompanied as part of drills and training.
The drum stopped. That was the signal. The front rank of the Death's Heralds started their charge. The Orcs were so close now, he could feel their rancid stench fill the air as they closed the gap. Only a few seconds... he thought, as he was almost upon them.
Just as the lead Orc was about to swing his great mace around Weimar's head, he brought the Draich down just below the beast's neck, effortlessly carving through the thick iron plates. The sweep took off the Orc's head along with part of its chest. Tearing his blade out of the Orc's flesh, it fell back with a mighty thud as another stepped over its corpse, crushing its bones. Weimar's training and discipline took hold as he stabbed forward, plunging the Draich into the next one's chest, and ripping it out to his left, sending black blood spewing forth from the cavity as the second Orc slumped back to join his dead kin.
Oh, this was what he had always been meant to do, thought Weimar, as he parried a blow from a third, and turning it to his advantage as he brought his now-raised sword down upon the Orc's head, the thing's brains spilling out and covering Weimar in black Orc blood.
Weimar hated the Orcs quite deeply, ever since his mother was killed and his village burned when Savage Orcs decided to go on a raiding spree. Weimar's venom-like hatred for the Orcs showed clearly here, although he hadn't lost his mind to utter bloodlust, as other, less disciplined men would. Instead, each sweep and chop was aimed and executed perfectly, a testament to Greatswords' expectations of skill, but at the same time, pure anger strengthened his arm and quickened his actions, making Weimar, even in the face of such creatures of mindless violence, quite unstoppable. Indeed, Weimar quite enjoyed ripping open the beasts, each one felled only increasing his rage as he stormed through the Orcs, desperate to kill as many as he possibly could.
Weimar couldn't care less as his gear was becoming drenched in black blood, but still his fury had him continue hacking apart the greenskins with well-executed attacks with Harbinger.
His brothers, as Weimar could see weren't possessed of a rage quite so intense as he was, but were still making good headway through the horde.Looking behind for a brief moment, he could see that at least eight of the 30-strong Death's Heralds had been brought low by the swirling violence. Setting his mind back to killing, Weimar continued to rip open the Black Orcs with the same ferocity he had kept up for the last half an hour. Taking the left leg from one, spinning his sword downwards and thrusting it down into the Orc's throat, Weimar suddenly took note of a particularly large Black Orc heading his way, about 30 yards away. This one looked quite imposing and intimidating, a massive black steel visor fixed to his helm, huge horns stuck to it, making him look like a black demon. Howling with pure fury, the Orc hurled itself at Weimar, with a gigantic blade in one massive fist, but in the other, a set of steel knuckledusters ringed with spikes. It was this fist that was pulled back, ready to punch Weimar's head clean off. Just as he lifted up Harbinger to parry the blow, the Orc's fist smashed into him, just missing his face, but taking Weimar's sallet off in the process. Drawing his fist back to finish the puny human off, Weimar recognised this as his last and only chance to slay the beast before it did the same to him. Stepping to the side as the Orc tried to land the killing blow, Weimar drew the Draich behind his head, and drove it forward at full pelt, straight into the beast's neck, forcing it down into its massive black heart. He let the swrd slip from his hand as the beast slumped to the ground, allowing him to catch his breath.
Glancing around himself, he noticed the Orcs were retreating, the Empire line's charge having, quite miraculously, smashed the Orcs apart. Weimar bent over and drew breath, as he recovered from his 40 minutes of bloodshed and violence. Wiping his sweat from his brow, he remembered: he had lost his helmet. After searching the heaps of dead bodies behind him, he found it, although noting with some dismay it was quite beyond repair - having sustained a direct blow from an Orc fist, and then crushed beneath a dead Orc's fallen corpse, it had been caved in and there were several torn holes from the Orc's fist. Bugger. It would cost him to pay for a new helmet.
Ah..., he thought, what about that big black helmet from the large Orc he had just killed? He'd already made a reputation for himself as being a bit unorthodox, having taken a Dark Elf's greatsword for his own use, why not steal a dead Orc's helm? Wandering back to his deceased victim, Weimar wrenched the helmet from the beast's head with one good tug. Looking it over, he took note that, with a little padding, It would fit him quite nicely. It was a bit battered, but it would serve him well if he could clean the blood off it.
Tearing Harbinger from the Orc's chest, Weimar strode back to his own lines with abig grin on his face, Harbinger in one hand and the Orc's helmet in the other, aware that the Death's Heralds had now a new tale to tell.


Hope you enjoyed that, Weimar will be back in a few stories' time.
Cheers

_________________
avatar
Celtic

Posts : 360
Join date : 2010-04-15
Age : 23
Location : Under your bed, breaking wind...

View user profile http://www.sharenator.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  ninja banana on Sun Aug 01, 2010 12:36 pm

its good, apart from the fact that that story is one of the most bias storys i have ever read, also a black orc helmet would definatly not fit a human, it would be too big and would be so heavy that one blow to it would probably kill the person wearing it. Apart from that though its a good story
avatar
ninja banana

Posts : 207
Join date : 2010-05-28
Age : 21
Location : i'm right behind you

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Wills on Sun Aug 01, 2010 1:05 pm

As per normal, i read these storis by people, this one is slightly more like 'another' one, but this was pretty good. One suggestion, i agree with ellis, but also, it's pretty fluffy, and reading where/who death heralds are... we know they'e greatswords and you spent a bit too long explaining them to make them better than they are and fluff and all. That's the only thing though, apart form that it's good!

Wills

Posts : 250
Join date : 2010-04-22
Age : 23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Celtic on Sun Aug 01, 2010 1:48 pm

I actually based the helmet bit on the models made by gw - it is actually roughly in proportion, so that's not too much of an issue.
The idea behind many stories is that they are very biased. That has been repeated in much fiction over this section, and not just me, but, yes, ok this is a little unfair towards the Orcs.
I like making stories fluffy. Weimar's going to be seeing a lot of action, so the more we can make him out as massively individual character, the better, from my point

I'll take the advice and tone the next one down a bit
Cheers for C&C

_________________
avatar
Celtic

Posts : 360
Join date : 2010-04-15
Age : 23
Location : Under your bed, breaking wind...

View user profile http://www.sharenator.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  the fishassassin on Sun Aug 01, 2010 1:50 pm

Jericho wrote:
The idea behind many stories is that they are very biased.
what about my one?
avatar
the fishassassin

Posts : 113
Join date : 2010-06-29
Age : 21

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Wills on Sun Aug 01, 2010 1:53 pm

Michael, one thing about general story-writing, most fluff is produced by the story, so his experiences, actions, long-term affects of the entire story shape his character and give him the fluff through his fights throughout, giving it all away in one paragraph about what he is like an all, it makes everything else, pretty much expected, and that's a big killer in books, a perfect example is edward cullen, everyone KNOWS what he'll do, so it becomes boring, im sure you'll agree about that soddy vampire Razz

Wills

Posts : 250
Join date : 2010-04-22
Age : 23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Skirax on Sun Aug 01, 2010 1:54 pm

Michael, if you're going to make a series of Stories based around one character, please post the successionist stories in the original thread. Too much of this section is clogged up by your stories.

Skirax
The Emperor
The Emperor

Posts : 461
Join date : 2010-04-15
Age : 23

View user profile http://sheriffwarlords.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Celtic on Sun Aug 01, 2010 1:56 pm

Yours was in one way, the marines got completely hammered, however, the good thing about it was that you initially started from the marines' perspective - if the guys you're telling the story from the point of view of get FUBAR, however badly, then that's not as biased as if the other side gets FUBAR (like in mine).
Explanation over.

_________________
avatar
Celtic

Posts : 360
Join date : 2010-04-15
Age : 23
Location : Under your bed, breaking wind...

View user profile http://www.sharenator.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Celtic on Sun Aug 01, 2010 1:57 pm

Skirax wrote:Michael, if you're going to make a series of Stories based around one character, please post the successionist stories in the original thread. Too much of this section is clogged up by your stories.

On the other hand, your posts have been taken up by endless scrolling. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them, but if there is going to be a series, it's best split up at least into 2 or 3 threads.

_________________
avatar
Celtic

Posts : 360
Join date : 2010-04-15
Age : 23
Location : Under your bed, breaking wind...

View user profile http://www.sharenator.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Skirax on Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:30 pm

That's your argument. Now I'm telling you.

Skirax
The Emperor
The Emperor

Posts : 461
Join date : 2010-04-15
Age : 23

View user profile http://sheriffwarlords.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Celtic on Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:35 pm

Since we're on the point of stuffed topics, I still don't see any reason why you shouldn't clear out the completely redundant posts in, say the game organisation bit, like the ones two and a half months old.

_________________
avatar
Celtic

Posts : 360
Join date : 2010-04-15
Age : 23
Location : Under your bed, breaking wind...

View user profile http://www.sharenator.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Skirax on Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:41 pm

We're not on redundant posts, we're on spamming. Post them in one thread.


Skirax
The Emperor
The Emperor

Posts : 461
Join date : 2010-04-15
Age : 23

View user profile http://sheriffwarlords.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Celtic on Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:43 pm

Skirax wrote:We're not on redundant posts, we're on spamming. Post them in one thread.

*facepalm* I said stuffed topics, not redundant posts. Game organisation is stuffed. With stuff nobody wants to read.
And i've merged up Impact into one, if it makes you happy

_________________
avatar
Celtic

Posts : 360
Join date : 2010-04-15
Age : 23
Location : Under your bed, breaking wind...

View user profile http://www.sharenator.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Guest on Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:51 am

hey micheal, why not convert one of your great swords to look like your character.
you could get a dark elf sword from a dark elf warrior box
and a black orc helmet from the black orc box
and you could make up some stats and special rules for him.
possibly make him a independant character or hero
and there u have it one awesome model and a very interesting history behind him.

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: Antipathy

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum