Depredation

A short about Chaos, requested by Lewis

Hakrann didn't care for sneaking all this sneaking about. He liked to do his job quickly, messily and loudly. Of course, he didn't exactly want to get detected in here, but stealth didn't come naturally to Chaos Marines.
"Interlock cut" affirmed the techie.
"Right" said Hakrann, "Get in, set the charge, and get the hell out. No pressure. Let's move."
Hakrann forced the metal latch open while 3 other marines pushed the door back to reveal a thin opening. He moved in as silently as he could, stepping through the narrow corridor with as little noise as he could manage, the other 5 members of squad Drakein following suit. As Hakrann moved deeper into the cavern, the low-light sensors in his helmet activated as the light grew dimmer and dimmer. Stepping out of the thin corridor, the squad moved into a huge cave, mostly bare but for metal panels lining the walls. Moving cautiously further into the cave, looking furtively around them all the time, Hakrann glanced at his scanner, taking note of the distance and direction of his objective from their position.

The squad then moved into a second room, not bare like the first, but filled with rank upon rank of what looked like metal skeletons, all arrayed in perfect lines, all deactivated. Realising why stealth was so important, Hakrann continued edging forward past the metal constructs, hoping that they would stay deactivated at least until the squad could exfil once the objective had been completed. Of course, moving quietly in power armour was near impossible, so they didn't even try. All they could manage was treading as gently as possible.
The squad continued along their path, advancing through several corridors and chambers before, finally, the scanner showed Hakrann that they had reached their objective. Looking up, Hakrann took note of a vast translucent metal pillar, green lights inside it flickering and dancing. Even the Chaos Marines were mesmerised by the technology they now witnessed, surely humans could only dream of such engineering.
Breaking out of his state of enthralment, Hakrann ordered the three lesser members of the squad to cover the rear while Hakrann, the techie and the specialist set to work preparing the charges. Working quickly, each was set to detonate on a remote timer, before the techie placed it on the side of the pillar. Once each of the charges had been set, the squad backed away, admiring the construct for a few more seconds before retreating back into the cavern.
After clearing the winding corridors and chambers, squad Drakein finally re-entered the large chamber they had come in by. They stopped dead in their tracks at the opening - each had noticed, with some horror, that every single one of the Necron warriors had completely disappeared. The room was empty. Far too empty for Hakrann's liking. Servants of Chaos feared nothing, but even this was enough to make them uneasy. Hakrann didn't like being ambushed. Which was a prospect looking increasingly likely now that the Necrons were nowhere to be seen.
The squad continued its long trudge through the dark, empty space, heading back for the cavern entrance. Entering the thin rock corridor through which they had penetrated the complex.
Returning to the metal door, finding it closed, the Techie set to work re-opening it so they could escape.
"Get the damn thing open" snapped Hakrann, impatient to leave the cave
"They've re-sealed the interlock, but from the other side. It's hopeless, I can't get through it. We'll have to wait." came the response.
"Emperor be damned." cursed Hakrann. "Right, back into the cavern, we'll have to wait it out inside."

Turning back reluctantly, the squad headed back for the cave for a third time. Once nearly at the entrance, Hakrann noticed the room had been fully backlit, and the entire complex had revealed itself to be a now-fully functioning Necron Crypt. A sharp buzzing could be heard from all directions, as rank after rank of the re-materialised Necron warriors marched forth from the next room, each looking with their cold, dead eyes directly at the intruders.
"OPEN FIRE" screamed Hakrann, letting rip with his bolter. The others needed no encouragement, gleefully opening up on the advancing horde. The specialist had his chance to reap devastation with his weapon, and fired pulse after pulse of plasma energy at the foe, uncaring of its immense heat, laughing manically as he felled them, shot after shot.
This is what the Warp Legion was built for. Destruction., thought Hakrann, as he emptied his bolts into the Necrons. Ranks of the metal beasts were hewed down, but they didn't stop their advance for a moment. As they drew closer, they began to return fire at the intruders, their gauss flayers lashing at the Chaos armour, tearing chunks out of each one, and ripping at the flesh of those encased in them. One of the members of the squad fell to the creatures, his flesh torn and ripped by the terrible weapons. Hakrann continued gleefully firing at the horde, caring not for his fallen comrade, for Hakrann's thoughts were fixed only on reaping death amongst the Necrons that day.

Realising he would certainly not survive, Hakrann switched to his plan B. He continued firing off his bolts in one hand, while in the other he took the remote detonator for the charges. Letting off a harsh cackle with the words, "THE POWER OF CHAOS CANNOT BE DEFEATED!", Hakrann detonated the charges, sending a vast shockwave through the crypt complex. The explosion sent the squad, and indeed the Necrons as well, reeling from the shock. In a few seconds, the next chamber was set ablaze as the explosion reached them. With a final laugh of defiance, Hakrann watched as the flames engulfed him, destroying him and squad Drakein along with the crypt. Mission Accomplished.

What about my chaos terminator lord?
or my possesed predator tank?
all that and my legion was PWND!

You could have mentioned that beforehand. If you want i'll work on a part 2 involving those elements.

Bloody hell, this isn't at all what I had in mind. You've really ruined the plot there, Lewis

have not!
i just made it more complex and a better happy ending!
it's about time the imperium had some good news!

There are many stupid errors with consistency, sense, and for good measure, grammar.
The idea is that the imperium doesn't get good news. Your 'Happy ending' makes no sense.
1: at first we start on the world i started on
2: suddenly the emperor has magically been reanimated from his skeletal form and all the loyal primarchs (who were all either dead or lost) show up. This is 'WTF' #1
3: Daemons have no hope of showing up anywhere near Terra, such is the level of psychic warding and defence mechanisms. WTF #2
4: The loyalist primarchs wouldn't have turned on each other even if they were somehow in the same room after 10,000 years of being completely lost. WTF #3
5: Suddenly Slaanesh shows up out of the blue and without any description of any kind is destroyed, even though it is practically impossible. WTF #4
Besides this, there many more errors anybody with a sane mind could spot.

Seriously, you did ruin my story somewhat, Lewis. Can it get into your head that this makes no sense whatsoever, the stuff you've put here simply wouldn't happen under even the most twisted of circumstances your depraved little mind could come up with.
This is why I am closing this thread before it can be ruined any further.