Space marine commandments
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Space marine commandments
Post any commandments you come up with for marines. I've started off here. Enjoy
1. Thou shall not enter an arm-wrestling competition while wearing a powerfist.
2. Thou shall not make mouth sound in place of firing thy plasma weapon. (You are not fooling anyone.)
3. Thou shall not go nude under thy power armor. (The Emperor can see your shame.)
4. Thou shall leave all sniper rifles and shotguns in reserve for the newbies. (Unless you want to be called a camper and a noob.)
5. Krak grenades are not to be wasted on enemy infantry, even if it is fun to watch them run around trying to get it off.
6. Thou shall not use a thunder hammer for cracking walnuts.
7. Thou shall not jettison thy battle brother into the void of space as a practical joke (any more).
8. Thou shall not place kick me signs on the back of our dreadnought brothers. (We want to keep foot injuries to a minimum.)
9. Thou shall not refer to the tech marine as nerd, the librarian as book worm, or the chaplain as that wordy bitch who’s always talking.
10. Thou shall not fill the vindicator’s demolisher cannon with chocolate and fire it as a peace offering. (After all, there is no peace.)
11. Thou shall not fill the rhino with water, heat it with a flamer, and open the top hatch to create a make-shift hot tub.
12. Thou shall not ask for the story behind rule 11. (A truly tragic tale)
13. All the cool kids are doing it, is not a valid excuse to worship Chaos. (If they don’t like you for who you are, then they probably weren’t your friends in the first place.)
14. Thou shall remember to eat well of thy awesome sauce.
15. Thou shall not jump onto our dreadnought brothers and yell out “giddy up!” (They have feeling too you know.)
16. Thou shall not break wind into another brother's helmet respirator
17. Thou shall not fire grots out of missile launchers towards dartboards
18. Thou shall not urinate into another brother's power armour
19. While taking landspeeder pilot training, thou shall not be tempted to pull sharply up on the pitch while shouting "wheelie!"
20. Thou shall not waste flamer fuel on toasting marshmallows
21. Thou shall not apply superglue to a brother's codpiece
22. Librarians shall not use their powers to toast sammiches
23. While coming in via a drop pod, thou shall not sing: "Stop the pod, i need a wee-wee!"
24.Thou shall not use a chainsword as a back-scratcher
25. Thou shall not use a land raider to pick up battle sisters
26. Thou shalt not transmit images of unclothed Sisters through the Astropaths
27. Thou shall not piss on the sergeant's power sword
28. Thou shall not jam a cork in the sergeant's plasma pistol
29. Thou shall not attempt to use insect repellant against nids
30.Thou shall not use Lasguns as laser sights for thy Bolters
31. The lab research tyranids arn't for emergency rations
32. Thou shall not smack a sister's arse then wink at her
33. Thou shall not draw a penis onto the sergeant's armour
34. Thou shall not play "tip the terminator" during battle
35. Thou shall not refer to rhinos as 'pimp wagons'
36. Thou shall not use a chainsword to open a tin of baked beans
37. Thou shall not throw soap at nurglings
38. Thou shall not ask a Sister if you might "donate some of your own Gene-Seed"
39. Thou shall not challenge a brother to a drag race with land raiders
40. Thou shall not stick signs reading "Honk if you think i'm sexy" on sisters' backs
41. Thou shall not honk if you see one of the aforementioned signs on a sister's back
42. Thou shall not refer to the dark eldar as "kinky"
43. Thou shall not put a “Purge me!” sign on the back of the Chaplain’s armour
44. Thou shall not train a Hormagaunt to be a watchdog
45. Thou shall not put replace a space wolf's beer with strengthened red bull - it will not give them wings
46. Thou shall not ask two sisters to mudwrestle
47. Thou shall not throw a warp-beast a dog biscuit
48. Thou shall not challenge your fellow brothers to a game of punt-the-grot
49. Thou shall not replace a brother's live ammunition with tampons - vice versa applies to sisters - the results of this isn't amusing
50. Thou shall be noticed if you 'borrow' the grand master's equipment
51. Thou shall not shine a lasgun in a guardsman's eye
52. Thou shall not feed excessive amounts of LSD to grots and see what happens
53. Playing naughty movies in your Power Armour’s Autosensors is not sanctioned by the Adeptus Astartes
54. Thou shall not use a terminator's teleport homers to teleport into the sister's showering facilities
55. Thou shall not staple a grot to the underside of a sentinel before it fights tyranids
56. Thou shall not refer to the machine spirit as "cruise control"
57. Thou shall not challenge a terminator to a game of twister
58. Thou shall not ask sisters if they are interested in a hand-portable "vibro-cannon"
59. Thou shall not see how far a chainsword will go up a scout's arse
60. Thou shall not plug the rhino's smoke launchers with fireworks
1. Thou shall not enter an arm-wrestling competition while wearing a powerfist.
2. Thou shall not make mouth sound in place of firing thy plasma weapon. (You are not fooling anyone.)
3. Thou shall not go nude under thy power armor. (The Emperor can see your shame.)
4. Thou shall leave all sniper rifles and shotguns in reserve for the newbies. (Unless you want to be called a camper and a noob.)
5. Krak grenades are not to be wasted on enemy infantry, even if it is fun to watch them run around trying to get it off.
6. Thou shall not use a thunder hammer for cracking walnuts.
7. Thou shall not jettison thy battle brother into the void of space as a practical joke (any more).
8. Thou shall not place kick me signs on the back of our dreadnought brothers. (We want to keep foot injuries to a minimum.)
9. Thou shall not refer to the tech marine as nerd, the librarian as book worm, or the chaplain as that wordy bitch who’s always talking.
10. Thou shall not fill the vindicator’s demolisher cannon with chocolate and fire it as a peace offering. (After all, there is no peace.)
11. Thou shall not fill the rhino with water, heat it with a flamer, and open the top hatch to create a make-shift hot tub.
12. Thou shall not ask for the story behind rule 11. (A truly tragic tale)
13. All the cool kids are doing it, is not a valid excuse to worship Chaos. (If they don’t like you for who you are, then they probably weren’t your friends in the first place.)
14. Thou shall remember to eat well of thy awesome sauce.
15. Thou shall not jump onto our dreadnought brothers and yell out “giddy up!” (They have feeling too you know.)
16. Thou shall not break wind into another brother's helmet respirator
17. Thou shall not fire grots out of missile launchers towards dartboards
18. Thou shall not urinate into another brother's power armour
19. While taking landspeeder pilot training, thou shall not be tempted to pull sharply up on the pitch while shouting "wheelie!"
20. Thou shall not waste flamer fuel on toasting marshmallows
21. Thou shall not apply superglue to a brother's codpiece
22. Librarians shall not use their powers to toast sammiches
23. While coming in via a drop pod, thou shall not sing: "Stop the pod, i need a wee-wee!"
24.Thou shall not use a chainsword as a back-scratcher
25. Thou shall not use a land raider to pick up battle sisters
26. Thou shalt not transmit images of unclothed Sisters through the Astropaths
27. Thou shall not piss on the sergeant's power sword
28. Thou shall not jam a cork in the sergeant's plasma pistol
29. Thou shall not attempt to use insect repellant against nids
30.Thou shall not use Lasguns as laser sights for thy Bolters
31. The lab research tyranids arn't for emergency rations
32. Thou shall not smack a sister's arse then wink at her
33. Thou shall not draw a penis onto the sergeant's armour
34. Thou shall not play "tip the terminator" during battle
35. Thou shall not refer to rhinos as 'pimp wagons'
36. Thou shall not use a chainsword to open a tin of baked beans
37. Thou shall not throw soap at nurglings
38. Thou shall not ask a Sister if you might "donate some of your own Gene-Seed"
39. Thou shall not challenge a brother to a drag race with land raiders
40. Thou shall not stick signs reading "Honk if you think i'm sexy" on sisters' backs
41. Thou shall not honk if you see one of the aforementioned signs on a sister's back
42. Thou shall not refer to the dark eldar as "kinky"
43. Thou shall not put a “Purge me!” sign on the back of the Chaplain’s armour
44. Thou shall not train a Hormagaunt to be a watchdog
45. Thou shall not put replace a space wolf's beer with strengthened red bull - it will not give them wings
46. Thou shall not ask two sisters to mudwrestle
47. Thou shall not throw a warp-beast a dog biscuit
48. Thou shall not challenge your fellow brothers to a game of punt-the-grot
49. Thou shall not replace a brother's live ammunition with tampons - vice versa applies to sisters - the results of this isn't amusing
50. Thou shall be noticed if you 'borrow' the grand master's equipment
51. Thou shall not shine a lasgun in a guardsman's eye
52. Thou shall not feed excessive amounts of LSD to grots and see what happens
53. Playing naughty movies in your Power Armour’s Autosensors is not sanctioned by the Adeptus Astartes
54. Thou shall not use a terminator's teleport homers to teleport into the sister's showering facilities
55. Thou shall not staple a grot to the underside of a sentinel before it fights tyranids
56. Thou shall not refer to the machine spirit as "cruise control"
57. Thou shall not challenge a terminator to a game of twister
58. Thou shall not ask sisters if they are interested in a hand-portable "vibro-cannon"
59. Thou shall not see how far a chainsword will go up a scout's arse
60. Thou shall not plug the rhino's smoke launchers with fireworks
Re: Space marine commandments
you copied them off of my post :S
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Re: Space marine commandments
no josh, i didn't. I spent ages coming up with quite a few of my own. then you copy & paste an entire fucking page, presumably without reading most of them. Well i have, and a lot of them aren't funny. You can shove your post up your arse
Re: Space marine commandments
your so getting banned
Cat =^.^=- Initiate
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Re: Space marine commandments
is that the best you can come up with?
you can't comprehend how pissed off i am with you. I spent over half an hour on my post. You spent about 6 seconds, without reading any of it. my own work is worth a lot more than c&p work from someone else
you can't comprehend how pissed off i am with you. I spent over half an hour on my post. You spent about 6 seconds, without reading any of it. my own work is worth a lot more than c&p work from someone else
Cat =^.^=- Initiate
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Join date : 2010-04-16
Age : 27
Location : In your mind...
Re: Space marine commandments
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Location : Your mum's room :D
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