A short description.

The ground shuddered and quaked as it strode across the field, smashing aside buildings and warmachines alike. Two eyes blazed from a head sunk deep into it's adamantium shoulders. Banners flapped in the harsh wind, boasting an immense kill tally. It's guns blazed steaming hot plasma into the ranks of the foe, screaming vengeance and death at anything foolish enough to stand in it's path.
Standing high over everything, overshadowing even the largest of the enemy, it is a Warlord Battle Titan, the Emperor's will made manifest.



I know it's not brilliant, I just wrote it for fun in my spare time. Advice and general comments appreciated.

Ok, very good, but just two points:

Change it from Warhound to Emperor. Otherwise, Dies Irae anyone?

Also, this might be just me, but I think you used 'it' too many times.

Thanks, ok, and 'it' was to give it a bit of mystery until it is revealed.

I know, but it did just seem a tad overused.




Don't forget to check out the joke video thread!

Well, he uses 'it' to keep the mystery of the object going right to the end, so as to keep the reader hooked by making them want to read on.

Also, we all know that the Warhound is the smallest of the main Battle Titans, and if such a godly description is given to the weakest of the Titans, what must we think of the Imperator Titans?

Oh crap I put Warhound! Lemme change that

No don't, it works brilliantly.

I meant to put Warlord.
Hmm.. now I think of it, Imperator doens't quite fit. I'll change it again

I thought it was the Omnissiah's will that made the titans? Aren't they the manifestations of the machine god?

Great little paragraph though even still. Well done.

Space marines see titans as manifests of the emperorors will etc. However there is much evidence to say that the adapteus mechanicus see it as the Omnissiah as in fact the Ct'an know as void dragon who is being held captive by the emperor in Mar's Ladybrinth (they worship him). However becuase the organisations importance, the imperium doesn't want to ofend it and just see it as an aspect of the emperor

Ben, when something like that is posted, it's the Emperor's will made manifest, as in his awesome might and ability to destroy whole armies with but a thought.